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          坚强的我，却敌不过情绪
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        <p>情绪问题在现代高度文明的社会里，越来越严重，原本利于生存的特性，在文明的快速发展中，来不及进化，成为我们的障碍和心理问题</p>
<a id="more"></a>
<p>在好长一段时间里（大概20多年），情绪问题一直困扰着我，无论做什么，都会产生一些莫名的焦急与压力，无论和谁接触，都会莫名的纠结与恐惧，时刻处于即将崩溃的边缘</p>
<p>大学时候，宿舍朋友一起做件什么事（具体事情早已忘记），需要分摊费用，我们老八在说自己的意见时，我不知道怎么心里冒出一阵无名之火，大发雷霆，而我并不是因为反对他这个提议，也不是反对分摊，事后，我甚至不知道为什么发火，这样莫名其妙的爆发出现过很多次</p>
<p>还有，很长时间里，每天起来，情绪总是很低落，感觉无力，焦虑，做事总是很着急，没有办法全心投入</p>
<p>这样的事情在我身上数不胜数，无数次伤害家人、朋友合作伙伴，多亏家人、朋友们的一路呵护，才让我没有放弃解决问题的努力</p>
<p>当读了《情绪急救》这本书时（樊登老师推荐），才找到了答案，逐渐地从情绪阴影中走了出来</p>
<p>然后一路高歌猛进，工作更加顺利，家庭环境得到很大的改善，并且积极的参与到社群活动和建设当中，不断地交到新朋友</p>
<p>回头看去，真不敢相信，在我看来几乎绝望的情绪问题，能这么顺利地解决</p>
<p>今天，我来分享一些关于《情绪急救》这本书的感悟，期望对你产生积极的影响</p>
<h2 id="创伤">创伤</h2>
<p>书中将情绪问题比喻成不同程度的创伤，让我感觉一下子揭开了情绪的神秘面纱</p>
<p>对情绪问题可以很恰当的理解了</p>
<p>例如被拒绝，心里会有些难受，就像皮肤被擦伤了一样，有些刺疼</p>
<p>孤独，就像身体没有劲一样，无力而退缩</p>
<p>丧失，就像带着伤痛，不断前行一样</p>
<p>通过这种直观的比喻，还能让我们可以感知到情绪带来的体验</p>
<p>而 <strong>能感知到了，才有可能解决掉</strong></p>
<h2 id="恶化">恶化</h2>
<p>当创伤只是轻微的擦伤时，一般情况会自我恢复</p>
<p>但如果得不到及时有效的处理，可能会恶化</p>
<p>小小的擦伤，会化脓，会变成深度伤，甚至坏死</p>
<p>更可怕的是，有些严重的创伤，表面看起来已经痊愈，完好如初</p>
<p>殊不知，坏死部分被包在里面</p>
<p>一旦被触碰到，就会爆发</p>
<p>事情过去了，也不哭也不闹了，其实只是将问题深深的埋藏了起来</p>
<p>便成了 “念念不忘，必有回响” 了，因为问题还在那里，迟早会爆发</p>
<p>如果继续不能妥善处理，就会成为严重的心理问题，导致极度自卑，抑郁，甚至自杀</p>
<p>而这一切可能来自于之前很小的一个擦伤</p>
<h2 id="救助">救助</h2>
<p>身体上的伤害，我们都知道如何处理，就连我 4 岁的儿子，当看皮肤划破时，都会跑去拿碘伏</p>
<p>而心理上的创伤，无法从外面看到，而且，只有当事人才有深切的体会，别人根本无从感知</p>
<p>如何救助呢？需要两方面的努力</p>
<ol>
<li>当事人，需要有很好的自我感知，当情绪出现时，想想是因为什么事情引起，平静下来，让理智接管大脑，以便可以找人倾诉，或者用文字梳理出来</li>
<li>救助者，需要提供理解，包容和爱，而且不要急于救助，抱一抱，静静地陪伴，耐心地倾听，非常重要，切记：<strong>不可大道理满堂灌</strong>，此时当事人最需要的是理解和支持</li>
</ol>
<p>举个例子：</p>
<p>孩子身上比较容易看到，孩子的要求总是很多，遇到的拒绝也会很多</p>
<p>孩子要买玩具，闹得不行，最终没有如愿，更加气愤，这时家长，可以蹲下来（主要是不要居高临下），抱抱他，不要说话，让他体会你的同情，包容和理解，关注他</p>
<p>他感受到我们的真诚之后，会慢慢地平静下来，会自然地靠在我们身上，看着我们，表示对刚才被拒绝的创伤有了理解</p>
<p>这时，我们再说为什么会拒绝他，以及拒绝他并不是不爱他，讨厌他，甚至抛弃他</p>
<p>如果他能平静的接受，说明我们的处理得当，这个小小擦伤恶化的概率就会很小</p>
<p>孩子如此，大人也是如此，每个人里面都住着一个小孩子</p>
<blockquote>
<p>救助的关键在于：<strong>理解、包容 和 爱</strong></p>
</blockquote>
<h2 id="自救">自救</h2>
<p>不幸的是，不是每个人都能遇到通情达理的父母和朋友</p>
<p>而且很多人像我一样，问题积聚了好多年，最初的原因，早已不知去向</p>
<p>随着经历的丰富，事情的繁杂，创伤逐渐成了顽疾，成了综合症</p>
<p>如何走出来呢？分享一下我的一些方法</p>
<ul>
<li>接受自己情绪问题，不要试图强制摆脱它</li>
<li>认识到，这些问题大部分不是自己造成的，不是自己的错，包容自己</li>
<li>认真地读《情绪急救》，仔细体会每一章节的情绪问题，感知自己的身体变化</li>
<li>要相信，这些情绪问题会离自己而去，自己一定能走出情绪的阴影</li>
</ul>
<p>当我们不再惧怕情绪问题，理解了这些不过是很多细小问题堆积演变出来的结果，我们就可以拾起战胜它们的武器——勇气</p>
<h2 id="总结">总结</h2>
<p>回望过期，有点不理解自己如何在情绪问题中苦苦挣扎了那么久，放眼未来，我看到的只有更强大的自己</p>
<p>相信我，我们身上的问题，一定有办法解决，如果这个方法不行，那必定还存在别的方法，有待我们去发现</p>
<p>善待自己，包容自己，爱自己</p>
<p>比心</p>
<h2 id="参考">参考</h2>
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